What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize