I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
