Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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