Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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