So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
