Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
