Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
