I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
