When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
