I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
