I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
