There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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