He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have post one night stand depression
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
