Swine flu. Run for my life!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
