Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
