Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
