I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
