ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
