I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
