I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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