Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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