Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize