I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
