is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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