It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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