I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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