I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
