....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Sext me about skeletons
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
