Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize