nut hugger
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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