what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your penis caused this!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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