I cannot find my penis.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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