I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
