is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
