he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Randomize
