You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
