A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
