He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
