we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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