I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
