Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
