this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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