problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
