Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
