Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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