Are we in a gay sports bar?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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