Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
he shaved USA in his pubs
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
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