When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
