walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize