look no pants
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
