I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize