Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
