Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
