How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
