I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize