this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
