I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
