i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
