'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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