none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
