I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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