I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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