Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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