yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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