You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
