HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
