nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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