when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
