We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
