When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Randomize
