Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Randomize
