she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
