my being single is dangerous.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize