Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize