Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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