I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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