Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
