nut hugger
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize