i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
